Christmas to me

Updated: Dec 25, 2019

We all know that I am not a religious person though I like to have in-depth conversations about religion and peoples personal views. I do so without bias or agenda.

None the less, I am not here to talk about religion of all things. could you imagaine if I was. Religion if all things and me of all people.

This guy?

ok but to the point. I wanted to hop on here and make a post about what the holidays are to me. Year after year I have made this fantasy in my head of what the holidays is supposed to be. You know the wake up in the morning in your pjs, run to the tree, grab a drink with the friends and family and just have a jolly day. Or even atleast a casual white elephant Christmas party with some friends... that’s the not the tea sis.

Here’s the reality, as I report to you live on the scene at 2 in the morning on this very day. I will be spending the day at home in bed alone. I know this sounds depressing and it is. The harsh reality is that my family never celebrated Christmas. And now that I’ve grown older, the Christmas spirit has just died down even more. Dont get me wrong. I love the holiday season, I just feel as though it is the only time of year where spirits are up and everyone is hopeful. Everyone is in the mood of giving and being with friends and family. That Is something so beautiful! The fact that a season can effect the away people feel especially in a time and weather were depression is at an all time high.

You may be wondering why of all the years I have been alive I finally chose to write about it now. Well tbh, life has really tested me this year, and I am currently jobless (You’ll learn more about why in my next post). Again, yes this is quite unsatisfying and a huge risk that has come my way to end off the year. But it has granted me the time to really ask myself the hard questions in life. The questions you usually don’t want to ask, or are simply to busy to think about. It has me doing a lot of thinking and reflecting on the year I’ve had like never before! After all my horoscope says that this year is/was the year for emotional growth and next year is the year for financial/career growth. Oh... do I feel that. I’ve changed a lot in such a short amount of time. Its honestly crazy.

OK back to the point. This time of year mixed with where I am in my life right now. Has allowed for a shift in perspective and even though things may be total shit. It has me thinking that I need to be more grateful for what I do have. And I’ll probably write about this later, but while things are like this. Trust the process and don’t force anything. So I’ve decided to start a gratefulness part to my site. Where I will talk about things and people I am grateful for. I guess you could say I’m treating it like the thanksgiving I never had.

For example: there is only one person that wished me Merry Christmas this year and her name is Maya Marcus. She has also been through a lot this year and she finds ways to be happy. Thats so empowering. We even had a conversation about religion and the holidays and our existence on earth and she still found a way to make what I saw negative to be a positive or atleast to her! The energy coming from this girls head. 🙉

To end. I wish you all happy holidays, and if you do have that beautiful movie Christmas. Know I am jealous. And that my bed is comfy. Thats all.😂

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