The feeling of being trapped...

See I read this article posted by PAPER magazine... WAIT WHAT OMG KENDRICK IS BACK ON THE KEYBOARD. Yes, yes I am finally back on the board, took some time off to think about life and what is happening in the world. As well as start my YouTube channel! Go check that out!



Ok back to that article. The article was an interview with one of Toronto's most recognized stylists Bobby Bowen. In it, it talked about the industry in Toronto, people and their name-calling and why people choose to leave Toronto.


That got me thinking... It's no secret that I am not about Toronto. It just isn't the place for me, this is so contradictory to the article that I am writing this very post about. I talk about wanting to leave, my last post was literally about how badly I want to move to New York and how I KNOW I belong there. The article talks about the idea of feeling trapped, which is something I've been feeling a lot. Not only in accordance with quarantine and literally being stuck in my home. Again, if you want to hear more about that go read my last post. But the point I am trying to make is that my personal life is just pulling me to New York, but there is so much to love about Toronto especially trying to be creative in this city.



Let me talk about the other points before I get into the juiciness and what really hit me in the chest. Bobby essentially starts out by talking about how people really undervalue the talent and drive it takes to be a stylist. A lot of people now and days are so easy to call themselves "stylist" because they work at like H&M or are proud of the way they dress. Myself included, though my experience ranges much further than most. I am still not worthy of such a title. He talks about how people are so quick to add slashes next to their name on Instagram to seem like a lot more then they are. Something you can see a lot with "bloggers" and "entrepreneurs" as well. This leads to his point of talking about social media and its influence.


See social media is both good and bad (a discussion I have no interest in entertaining). Essentially it adds value and devalues things and people all at the same time. He makes a good point in talking about how it is so easy to pay attention to what other people are doing. Being a stylist he talks about how for example he doesn't have a showroom and it isn't something to dwell over becuase you have to focus on you. What you have and what you are doing. I know this is pretty commonsense, but when I read it it really hit differently. It was almost like a slap in the face. Especially since during quarantine I have been very on and off with my social presence. To a point where people don't even know how to get in contact with me anymore... WHOOPS.



I've been trying to "take the power back from Instagram" which honestly was even hard to admit. How disgusting is it to think that an app has power over you?...


Anyways, back to my point. Bobby spoke about the fashion industry and how it has a certain vibe and "look". The way I took it having presented at Fashion Week. There is this unspoken vibe that Toronto gives off in its fashion industry, not necessarily good, but its there. What really hit different though is he talked about how in Toronto there is the presence of the "glass ceiling". If you don't know what the hell the "glass ceiling" is, clearly you have not hit it. It's the idea that you have done all you can do and you can see that there is more, you just can't seem to get your hands on it. All you can do is look. A "the grass is always greener" kind of vibe but one-sided.



Wow, I used a lot of quotation, damn he a poet... This really resonates with me, because if it wasn't for my love of New York, I definitely see myself aiming to follow in his footsteps. He talked about how most of the successful creatives that come out of Toronto don't really care to give it a shoutout. That being as Toronto isnt exactly a city that is fostering talent. Here you have to make a name for yourself. Which is amazing, but makes opportunities hard to come by. Then it has the people pressed up against the glass ceiling looking up at them wondering how they were able to get through. This was something that was really interesting, because again not only do I feel like I've hit the glass ceiling. LOLLLL not that I'm saying I'm successful... like at all. But I just feel as though there is no room to grow.



This all coming from someone that has made it in Toronto really means a lot, I guess its external validation to the way I'm sure a lot of creatives in Toronto feel. So I guess I wrote this to share how I think this can resonate with upcoming talent. I don't want to end this off on a bad note though. So if you are someone trying to build something in Toronto or want to collaborate HIT ME UP. Also, let me share some resources I personally am trying to get my hands on:


https://bullymagazine.co/ (a magazine founded by Bobby)

https://www.hxouse.com/ (a creative agency fostering artists)


Both things I want to take a part in and honestly would stay in Toronto for!


Also now that I'm back. Not that anyone interacts with my posts. But if you enjoy my more vulnerable posts (if you were expecting this to be more personal) please do let me know!

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