The BEST and WORST of the Golden Globes. This is how they could be better.

Hi! How are you? You ok? That's great to hear because the carpet at the Golden Globes was really going through it. Let me tell you...

So yesterday on the 5th of January the Gloden Globe Awards happened as per usual. Events like these, in which moguls from around the world gather together in what some would call the "Stylist Olympic's". Is where the biggest celebs and their stylists come to show off what they have to offer.

Before they even enter the building. No matter if they win or lose an award. They are already winning or losing in there looks... Whoops, I said it. As my dear friend, Bretman Rock would say...


If you weren't living under a rock then you would have seen the show or at least what your favourite people were wearing. I was surprised by what certain people were wearing.

Ok, so let us talk about who was wearing my favourite and least favourite looks. This may seem biased, but I guarantee other stylists everywhere were thinking the same things. The celebs are in order from best to worst, followed by what I think they should have changed about their outfits.

1. Joey King wearing Iris Van Herpen

Thoughts: Omgggggg are you kidding! Literally forget angel wings. If heaven is real, this is what I expect to see up there. I have been a fan of Iris Van Herpen for a while, I actually attend her gallery show here in Toronto when she was at the ROM. The way she combines science, art and fashion is truly something nothing short of amazing. But in her work, it is so hard to imagine wearing. Pieces of art none the less, but not exactly wearable. Here, you see exactly how to do it right. Not only does it frame her face and body shape sooooo well. The minimal accessories, the blush heavy make-up and the clean white strap point flats. You can't help but go wow.

What I would do differently: Honestly I wouldn't change anything. If anything at all, I would maybe add some more rings and consider different shoes. I wouldn't mind seeing some more crystal on her hands and feet. If it was an option, I would ask her to walk the carpet barefoot. Really give me angel realness!

2. Zoey Deutch wearing Fendi Couture

Thoughts: OK so if you have been following me for a while, you would know that I just quit my job at Fendi. This dress and the next one kind of have me regretting it. Ok, well not regretting it at all, but I would love to say I work for the brand that put this dress on the red carpet. Zoey looks amazinggggg. Head to unseeable toe. The way the dress fits on the bust, the way the colour works with her skin, even the way her boobs sit within this deep v is stunning. Not to mention her face. I don't know who her make-up artist is, but she literally looks perfect. If Joey King is an angel then Zoey Deutch is God herself. Her hair sits just right, and the contrast of the bluestones to the vibrant yellow dress is eyecatching. That all with the chunky ring on her left hand. WOW WOW WOW. But you are probably with all that hype, why isnt she the top choice. That's because Joey really pushed boundaries and obliterated comfort zones, which is what I like to do as a stylist.

What I would do differently: Though the blue gems are stunning, and I definitely think the amount of jewellery was spot on. I think the dress is such a clean elegant look, and her make-up is soooo crisp and sophisticated. I would have put her in crisp white pearls. Two necklaces, about 1/2" sized pearl earrings, and an exaggerated pearl ring to be exact. It would have taken her from a rich woman shopping to a rich woman that already owns everything and is simply taking a walkthrough.

3. Gwyneth Paltrow in Fendi

Thoughts: I read somewhere that they believe this look brought a whole new meaning to being naked. I agree with that whole heartedly. I mean that in the best way possible. This is even better than how Fendi styled it on the runway. The way it suits her body so well. The fact that the sheerness of it was not a deterring factor of her wearing it. Most importantly, the way they styled that huge necklace under the dress because it was sheer is genius. I won't say revolutionary, but that was the word I was thinking of using.

What I would do differently: Though the necklace under the chiffon is amazing. I think that should have been changed. It is too much, maybe it is stunning in person, but on the red carpet, the jewels in response to the flash of all the cameras look cheap and tacky. The fact that they did the jewellery like that, paired with the dress being designed like a swimsuit cover. Makes it well... look like she's going to the beach. The earrings are too dangly and take away from the drama of the necklace and the dress. Then the lack of jewels on her hands makes her hands look like a second thought. They should have added some more make-up, more rings, an arm cuff, simplified the necklace just a tad, and wore smaller statement earrings. But her natural hair works with it!

4. Kerry Washington wearing Altuzarra

Thoughts: Somone told me that this was their favourite look. They ask me for fashion advice for a reason... Do not get me wrong. She looks stunning, This is such a new, fresh, and badass look. Also, should we mention she is the only person of colour to off made it on this list... stylists need to step it uppppp. Jk, who am I to talk I don't even have a celebrity client yet. But back to Kerry. The way the skirt and jacket fit is beautiful and the way they styled them with this rope situation is truly mind-boggling. I do like how her shoe kind of matches the top situation. But I do have a couple of bones to pick.

What I would do differently: I am not even going to mention how she looks like she does not want to be there. But then again that could be her serving face look for the red carpet. IDEK. Buttttttt her outfit. Again I love how her stylist thought about this whole moment. Sending me businesswoman, but sexy, and sexy again. All that with a huge label that writes "CHEAP". Again love the fit that is why it is on my top five. But here's what I would change. The shows take the whole strap thing too far and don't suit the outfit at all. If anything I think it takes away. The skirt is perfect in material but should have been a little bit more fitted. Not to mention it sits really weird on the feet, just look at her right foot peaking through... It should have been shorter. It would have added that little edgy touch it needed to complete the whole fuck you vibe. She needed edgier rings. Her make-up is to red focused. I need a little more black, some more power. If they were going to do red. They should have done more on the lips and less on the cheeks and eyes. I would have given her chain earrings. That off fellow Torontonian Jane Bird. Finally would have done something different with her hair either shortened the bob or made it frizzy.

5. Charlize Theron wearing Dior

Thoughts: Did not expect this from Dior, to be honest. The silhouette maybe. The colour. Most definitely not... Ok so here's the tea on this one. Love the silhouette, love Charlize. I did not realize when I saw it on my black and white phone at first, that it was green... I thought it was friggin white. It is nice, it is. But who the, what the, where the heck did this come from... the colour doesn't even look that good on her skin tone. Her accessories are ummmm, interesting. I love her hair and make-up. The length of the dress is good, and I like the subtle detail of the monochrome belt. But if some changes were made, this dress would be game-changing. This is where, as a designer, and stylist I am going to talk about changes to the dress and the styling of the dress.

What I would do differently: First of all. I would have made the dress in a royal blue, or white, or even made the green white and the black parts light blue. Killerrrrrr. As for styling this green version... yikes. I would have given her (if the whole branding thing wasn't an issue: the fact that she is wearing Dior and isnt allowed to wear anything else. Besides jewellery.) an Alexander McQueen clutch and swapped out all of her jewellery with pieces from the Dior Homme line, designed by Yoon Ambush.

6. Shailene Woodley

Thoughts: I am going to start by saying OKKKAAAYYYY. It's bad I know, I know. Why is it number 6? It is because she had so much potential and at least the dress matches her personality in the sense, that she seems to be very alternative and edgy. That bracelet that looks like a wanna be Juste Un Clou from Cartier is not helping either. I will say at least the dress fits her body and style nicely. Her lighter tones skin helps with the look as well. But here is where it went wrong. From what I can see of the shoes, they do not help the fact that she looks confused and lost. A strappy shoe is always the go-to for people that don't know fashion but are trying to look like they do. The bracelet, earrings and ring add nothing to the look at all. At least her hair and makeup suit the look. If I'm being honest most of the problem lies with the dress itself and their decision to put it on her. The slit has no business being there. the dress is a bad length and the circle situation is a fun artsy touch but it looks like a fashion accessory gone too far. I feel as though my saying all these things makes me sounds like a bitch, but I'm just honest. I think like a stylist, and that means you know what is good and what is not. NO QUESTIONS ASKED. Also please notice how we have no idea who she's wearing... TEA?

What I would do differently: I would have called Saint Laurent and said: "help a girl out". LOOLLLLLL Honestly if I could tamper with the dress. I would cut the circle off, shortened it to above the knee. Given her, a black necklace from COS, put her in YSL pumps or boots and taken the rings off to be replaced with brass knuckles. Finally given her a McQueen ear cuff. At the end of the day, she needs YSL to sponsor her.

7. Reese Witherspoon wearing Roland Mouret

Thoughts: This sucks... you know why because its Reese we are talking about here. But you know what. And I'm being honest here. She looks like she is attending a wedding and tried to upstage the bride...

like seriously though. Again, not meant to be a roast or anything like that, but she could have done so much better. Come on. All love to Roland, but it looks like he took a really nicely fitted white dress and added a tissue on the front. Imagine this

Reese: *dancing at wedding*

Me: *spills wine on her by accident*

Reese: O.M.G I'm wearing this to the Golden Globes.

Me: *tries wiping it off*

Roland: wait I have an idea!


Her rings were well selected but her bracelet takes away from the dress. Her make-up to intense and her hair not sleek enough.

What I would do differently: See here's the thing. We could have made the dress work. Just make her hold a tissue box as a clutch... JKJKJK no but actually. Add some nice crystal bracelets taking away the one she has on, add lipstick, less around the eyes and cheeks. Pull back her hair a bit more, maybe even the wet hair look. Make her wear some crisp skin tone or white Louboutins, Fireeeeee.

8. Taylor Swift wearing Etro

Thoughts: RING RING RING. I guess the old Taylor is back? I respect the choice, and the silhouette is pretty cool. But the print changes it all... Like if it was made in solid red, wowowowoowowoww. But nope it's a giant flower print. To be honest look like an exaggerated version of something you would find at honey. She has come so far in her style and her transformation, she could have pulled up in something so much better than this. Ladies and Gents, we are talking about the person that was named Billboard's Woman of the Decade. And she's wearing a dress from your local mall.

What I would do differently: Of course if I was the designer I would have changed the colour to red. But even then, with that power, I would have designed her something totally different. As her stylist, I would have put her in a power suit super exaggerated legs. Fitted top. Think Jacquemus or Chanel. But then again this is strictly Etro. I would have put her in a velvet suit or even a huge men's suit with the pants belted high and the jacket with no shirt under or committed to the bohemian look that Etro has gone with their dresses. Now let's talk about her jewellery, needs a necklace for sure, change the earrings, and need more rings. I would have contacted Van Cleef for this look...

9. Sofia Vergara wearing Dolce & Gabbana

Thoughts: Ok Dolce has been going through it as of late with the whole racism thing... Anyways this fit is not ittttttt. I might be impartial as I personally am not a fan of loud printed brands. Though this is not a design that fits that, it is by the brand. Again it looks like a dress your basic Kim Kardashian and JLo wannabe would get from Marciano. None the less it looks like they wrapped a curtain around her and then smeared mud on the seams. I know they are bronze gems, but oh boy it is so poorly done. That bag she is holding doesn't even match the dress... completely different materials. With all of this, I respect her, becuase it looks like she is living her best life. But Sofia, please at least try and be different. They did do really well with the jewellery though!

What I would do differently: Again I would have put her in something different. If you are going to put her in a brand in bad terms with China, at least do Versace. None the less, I would have shortened the dress, changed the bag, added some straps to the dress to have them hang off the shoulder, and added some bronze to her makeup to commit to the details on the dress.

10. Sienna Miller

Thoughts: If Gwenyth is headed to the beach, Sienna lives on the beach. Hear me out, the surfer hippie look is a vibe, but this is not how you do it. Again notice how they did not mention who she is wearing... Not only does she look cheap, but she looks confused, even her face is trying too hard. Sienna Miller honey, leave the duck face to Instagram. There was no effort done to her look at all. The dress looks like they had some leftover fabric from years ago and threw this together. Years ago thus the different shades of yellow fabric. They took a string and sewed the yellow fabric around it to make a dress. Even the hem of that extra piece of fabric was not done properly... REALLY. It does look like she committed to the hippie look which is nice, but not for a red carpet. (This is not me appropriating hippie culture, just putting my two sense to what I think would have made this look better)

What I would do differently: Honestly if we were going to have to wear this and commit to the hippie look. I would have decked her out in antique jewellery. Antique gold arm cuff, chunky mixed stone rings. a huge peace sign hanging from her neck. Her hair is nice though. We could of at least made it a bit more elegant if we had nice dangling crystal earrings, attached some crystals around the dress, made the extra fabric on the front into a bow, and added a slit to what would have been a longer dress with a train.

All in all, We had two amazing looks, and all of the men wore basic ass suits so that’s fun. Besides Nick Jonas that is, he wore Prada and boiii did he look good. The Golden Globes looked like a good time, after all, I heard that Beyoncé was there. But in terms of fashion... I think its time for them to give me a call. OK, that sounds super conceited, but I have one question to end. WHERE DID THE STYLISTS GO?


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